Like it or not, there’s is a part of your brain called the hippo-campus that upon instant “optical facial collision” with someone, it tries to determine familiarity to someone stored in memory. Next, to reserve energy, he brain will group them based on similar appearances and experiences. The hypothesis here is that similar appearances produce similar experiences! Synapses then fire with a familiar pattern that had been placed in memory. Mark you, this process happens in less than 20 seconds!
So as an effective communicator, your first statement should “shock” and disrupt this process so quickly that the brain has no alternative but to allocate resources to paying attention.
Now this is done by being “fresh” , new and vibrant. Short of doing this, you are just another__________!
Ok you have the attention. What next? There are two main opposite and competing hormones at work. Dopamine( the happy reward excited drug!) and Epinephrine(the adrenaline combative fight or flight restlessness drug!) To maintain that same level of enthusiasm and interest you must grab their attention by giving them something new fresh and vibrant then, you must take something away so that the epinephrine is activated!(Fear of loss!, Panic mode!)
This is very very manipulative!
Now here is the kicker! Every piece of communication is manipulative! Some are more powerful than others in the sense that they illicit a faster response. For the record, if you are saying or doing something to illicit a verbal response or an action, then you are manipulating and it wouldn’t be communication then. It would be banter where you talk for the sake of vocal chords vibrations!
Steps to make communication Meaningful
- Start with a controversial statement or question! example :” Did you now that you are now trying to figure out if you should allocate your resources to listening to me?”
- Open a loop and don’t close it yet! Example: “More on that later…….”
- Start a parallel conversation by admitting something you wouldn’t tell anyone random but not scary enough yet!..Example ” I have been having issues with boosting my productivity for years! In between marriage,work and finances, i cant concentrate to get my projects of the ground…” (The sole intention here is to build trust!)
- Then ask a question (handing power back to them!) example: Do you experience the same challenges too?
- Share a quick tip of how you were able to solve the problem! Make sure the focus is on the issue! NOT YOU!
- Ask them how they were able to resolve the issues!(trust and sharing!)
- Inspire them with words of encouragement! (Everyone desires validation!)( Just don’t get cocky and tell them…”I’m validating you…” fastest way to create an enemy.)
- Close the opened loop in 2.
- Activate the epinephrine by cutting short the conversation as you have to go because your time is limited!
Depending on intensity and depth of the conversation, there is a trade of between interest and memory activation with the dependent variable being time. You can have someone’s attention for maybe 45 to 90 minutes if your really good!(average time for a good movie) Know your trade off and pay attention to the subtle times. The above steps may deviate depending on individual and topic, but your best strategy will be to adapt to the feedback being provided in real time from gestures,facial expressions and body language!
If you’re going to pitch and give results that are measurable, then give the actual results. If you can’t provide exact numbers then don’t use this angle. Statements like “sold like crazy”, “made millions of dollars”, “made ridiculous sales” don’t excite the brain one bit. It puts your credibility on the line. We made 124 sales. We earned £24, 370 or we saved 52 jobs. The idea is to get specific without getting too bogged down. The brain wants to be WOWed but not bogged down. Clean up your pitch and add precise numbers.
Now when i was in college, i came with one philosophy on reverse engineering any result that you want to attain and jokes aside, it worked pretty damn well. If your going to copy anyone,(which is the layman term for “reverse engineering”) in the bare minimum, copy from someone who has achieved what it is you want to achieve. (Pretty obvious eh..but you will be surprised at how many people listen and take advice to anyone ready to give some!)
Now here is the kicker and what separated me form everyone else! I only copy stuff that i have a thorough backbone and solid foundation on! Too many times we copy from :-
- The wrong person.
- The right person but have no idea or understanding of what it is we are copying.
To get the optimal results to your situation you must inject your personality and DNA to whatever you plan on copying and if you are blank about what your copying, it is very likely you may even copy stuff that is specific to the person you are copying from e.g. their name!( This really happened to someone i know!!) and that is the fastest way to instantly loose credibility.
Copying they say is the sincerest form of flattery so without making this post any longer than it needs to let me give you the exact steps to follow to “reverse engineer”that optimal result you desire. It could be loosing weight, getting a good grade or dating a model!
- Have a thorough understanding of what it is you intend to copy. This is the only way you will know if what you are copying is garbage or crap!
- Choose the person you are copying from very selectively. Do a background on his background….then do a background on the person doing the background…you get my drift!
- Test the advice given and first see if it makes sense to you! Test the logic! If it doesn’t sound logical to you then more than likely you won’t attain the optimal results you’re seeking.
- If you don’t understand something ask or do your research.
- Implement in bite size operations. That way you have your own quality assurance feedback system implemented to correct whatever it is your copying.
- Every sophisticated event action has a simple component to it and a complicated component to it! Focus on the complicated part first!
This was the exact same strategy that i used to always get higher grades than the people i “reverse engineered” from and you can too!
You really don’t have to get constipated and sweaty over a result when there are 7 billion people on this planet ! Somewhere, somehow, someone has already achieved the exact result you are seeking! Yes it is simple as that!
Enjoy your week and make it count!
You have no authority over the performance of your art and no one ever will. Rather than have nightmares over something you have little control over, the most humbling epiphany is the realization that true art has everything to do with it’s creation. The more you create it, the more it charts a pathway of it’s own, complimentary to your existence! No one really knows the formula! The fact that you’re looking for a formula means that you are not looking to create art!For art, has no formula! Art is like a river, it meanders to the curves and calling of the moment! Create it, then right before you become constipated about it’s performance, set it free! It was never yours in the first place and if you do get rewarded for it, distribute the rewards or they will come back to haunt you! This is the greatest curse of the gift of art! Let it go!You were never the creator,just the platform for it’s creation! This is my greatest secret to the creation of art!
- Dark days…
- long hours
- miserable pay
but the most heart breaking of them all, continuous failure day in day out! If you have worked as a research scientist, entrepreneurship doesn’t prepare you enough! Then the one idea out of all the fifty something you tried finally catches momentum! Then it all makes sense! All those dark days, all those tears, all those long hours finally finally make a difference to your clients in a major way, which in turn impacts your life in a major way! Then you say to yourself my nerves can’t stand the uncertainty again! My nerves can’t stand the thrill. Then deep down you know it’s a lie! You do it one more time! When you taste that drop of making a difference, it’s like an athlete with lean muscle on anaerobic respiration, the fat keeps on burning way after the exercise has stopped! This is my message to you….START now! Get that adrenalin rush! It is therapy, It is life! It is “effin” aaamaaazing!
I was trying to shoot a piece of paper in to the garbage can. I thought it was going to be a clean shot. I aimed, pitched my arms and like a pro released the paper with no attachment to the outcome. It missed. It’s OK i told myself lets try it again my brain told me! Again i aimed, pitched and released on second try and this time something amazing happened! I still missed but touched the edge of the can! It’s OK i my mind repeated, try again! Picked up the paper went back to my position and tried again! Aimed, hands pitched and elevated a release again with no attachment to the outcome and this time, this time it finally went in! There is a huge fundamental lesson to learn here!
- It was just a game.
- It didn’t matter that i had to collect the paper from the floor every time i missed, i was having too much fun being challenged to get the paper in! Almost pissed it went in!
- I was not attached to the result of the paper whether it went in or out, there was an intuitive lesson i was acquiring along the way!
Here comes the analogy! In life, you will try many things like taking the paper and dunking it in a waste basket. Some will work(very few) majority will not work out! What matters are 3 things,
- Fun-is the path fun.
- Lesson-what are you learning?
- Where are you now and what is the end result or the destination?
- What is the control?
Are you having fun if you have a check mark we are good if not find something that is fun. When i say fun i am referring to how the activity and the result are challenging you! If they are not challenging then it is rare you will have fun! What is the lesson you are acquiring. The truth is activities teach us more about ourselves than about the people or the end result. Be keen to the lesson. Just like with every activity there is a start point and an end point Where are you currently? It doesn’t make sense to want the moon when you have no idea where you are! In thermodynamics, a compound’s state can be completely defined by any 2 of the three properties. Pressure, volume and or temperature. In strategy a persons vision can be defined by two properties current position(financial,emotional…etc) and intended destination!(financial,emotional….etc) The work of the strategy is to bridge the gap! Finally you will need a control whose sole purpose is to define how we will know that we are at the end! A lot of times at least in science we compare the end with a control which is parallel state of the same start point that did not go through the operation. It is mostly used for comparison sake!
One thing that i learned can’t remember for where is that the mind on first try is doing all kinds of calculations without your consciousness! Length, projectile, energy involved etc on first try. On second try it is doing some adjustments and that’s why the second try is called train up because it is usually better than the first but not as good to be the end result. Finally the third which is well adjusted to reach the end result is usually the optimized one for the result. In statistics, it is said that the more the iterations the closer you are to the true value! This of course is assuming that you have the right test and the right measurement! Anyway, the lesson to learn here is that sometimes before you wash you hands try anything at least 3 times and make sure you are having fun, you are learning a lesson, you know where you are and where you want to go and you have a way of knowing that you have reached your destination!
Enjoy the weekend!
Posted January 25, 2014on:
As conventional employment becomes a less desired model for earning a living, more and more people are looking for alternatives. For starters, time and freedom are the two assets that most people value and appreciate and for some reason most jobs seem to rob them both. The time to do what you want and the freedom to do it! One way to earn them back is by creating a business. Unfortunately when i started, there were countless mistakes i made along the way! Heck i’ll be darned if there was anything i was doing right! In 2003, I had an idea! I found a t-shirt manufacturer in Pakistan and ordered 800 pieces with photos of hero’s that had inspired me!Created a website and was going to sell them at $20 a piece! That’s $16,000 for a deal that i had projected on a business plan to grow 10 times that in a year based on what successful companies were doing! How naive! The website was up, the t-shirts were on their way and i was going to make tons of money, right!WRONG!
Mistakes I made and the lessons i learned!
- First of i had never ordered samples from this manufacturer! The fabric was so bad, i had to pay a homeless guy to even consider wearing the t-shirt! (That’s how bad they were!) Goodwill rejected them and even tried to sell them as mopping fabric! After 3 years of emotional drain, I left them in a dumpster in Cary, North Carolina and never looked back! Lesson 1. Know who your supplier is! If the business model gravitates around that supplier know in the bare minimum who they are! Heck if your going to build a business, own your real estate or build it! Real estate or leverage is having the 3 pillars, the factory, the client acquisition process and the clients! If you don’t have at least the clients and the acquisition process, then you don’t have a business!
- Pillar Number 1. The factory comes after the customers! This should be the first lesson of business! The truth about customers! Chant this even in your sleep! Clients are not looking to make you rich, they don’t care about you starting your business and at every turn they are looking to run away from any offer you have UNLESS (and this is the only exception) it benefits them way more than it benefits you! This was the meanest ugliest calm your nerves down experience that humbled me more than sleeping on my friends couch in college with no where to go! Facebook, twitter, Youtube those are channels to acquire real estate pillar #1. Clients! The greatest challenge has been to answer these two questions! Do we start by selling what the market wants (“sell out”) or do we innovate and do what we want with respect to the market? (authentic to self!) The best answer i know how is to have the interest of the market first! That means do whatever it takes, to get the market and I don’t mean light a fire on a cold winter evening outside you’re prospects house awaiting them to come home from work to sell them a product! Use a bit of finesse! Think about all the things they worry about, going to work, dropping the kids at school, paying bills, cooking, loosing that 20 pounds they gained during the holidays, and still finding the time to chit chat with Aunty Jemima who wasn’t feeling to well three weeks ago! What can you do to make these activities less daunting! If you have to ask them, please do, they won’t hesitate to tell you and when they do, implement in to the product! Acquiring this real estate is using your skills (authentic to self!) to sell what the market wants. (“sell out”)
- The 2nd pillar of this Real Estate is the process! If the process of moving clients from where they are to where they want to be is complicated, then you don’t have a business because your loosing real estate #1. Can you imagine yourself building a house on Mount Rainier or Everest and the truck that is carrying the bricks has to go up the mountain with steepness of 60 to 80 degrees from the ground? Every time one truck of bricks attempts the climb the elevation causes all the bricks to come tumbling down! What if you could chart a pathway that is slightly steep but spiral that reduces steepness by going round the mountain to the top rather than up the mountain in one steep climb? That’s exactly what you do when your process is undefined. Chart out the process by answering these questions. How will the client move from A to B to C? What experience will clients attain while on the pathway? What is cost effective to you? How can you WOW your clients while they take the journey?
- The last pillar to real estate is the production! Mark you i said production. If someone else owns the production that means at a drop of a dime, they can steal your business from you! They can switch their algorithm and your customers go unfulfilled which in turn makes you go unfulfilled! If you don’t own the production, make plans to do so in the near future! Own the client acquisition process, own the client database and then finally own the product/service production process! I had outsourced the t-shirt production to someone else who didn’t care about my “potential imaginary” clients(the ones who were going to make me a fortune without them even knowing! Mistake #1) like i did! I hadn’t met them and i didn’t even have backup manufactures and the worst thing i did was pay them upfront! Never ever pay the whole amount upfront even if you have it 10 times over! Learned that lesson again during my wedding!(Another story!)
- Finally the idea here isn’t to sell the product only, that’s short term and very temporary, the long term strategy is to add so much value to client’s lives that they would give you money to make sure you don’t ever have to do anything else(career wise) but what it is our good at! If your clients want you that bad, then you have a true business!
It’s not easy and it’s very very doable!
Make 2014 the best year possible!
PS: If your comfortable with what you do for work, stay happy, don’t start a business! If you’re seeking a thrill and heartbreak and tears and joy, very polarized, conflicting extreme experiences and challenges, then a business may offer you that alternative with ease! All in all there is no guarantee that a business will make you anything and if I insinuate that in anyway with this article, please correct me! This disclaimer has not been bludgeoned out of me by the FTC. I am doing it just to inform you that before you make any kind of investment please seek sound advice! It will be in your best benefit!
PPS: I’m not selling anything!